1.)When you see £1,100 next to a S Kensington studio, please to multiply by 4.3 before jumping up and down with joy.
2.)A postdoc spouse who commutes to Cambridge is a liability as the money he makes is not enough to cover his transportation cost.
3.)Try conning said spouse to take up a Canary Wharf/City job failing which throw him into the Thames.
4.)If you cannot get rid of him, take the following test. Are you A) Royalty B) Diplomat C) I-banker or D) None of the above? If you answered D, you shouldn't really attempt to live in London.
5.)Gall stones do not need to be removed. Next time someone tells you that you have gall stones in your gall bladder, do NOT cancel air tcikets to Vietnam and hotel reservations at Siem Reap.