Wednesday, November 21, 2007

BM and Buddhi come to London (Part 1)

BM and Buddhi (BM's sibling) have gone off to Paris for a couple of days, so good time to malign BM on blog!

Trafalgar Square. BM happily climbs on top on one of the lions. Pictures duly shot.

Me: "Enough. If you want to spend some decent time at the National Gallery, you have to get down now"

BM: "Ok ok. Hmm, it seems a little scary"

Buddhi: "What's scary?"

BM: "Getting down this thing"

Me: "Who asked you to climb up?"

BM: "Thats not the point"

Bill: "Its alright. We will stand below. I will catch you if you fall"

Me: "That's supposed to make her feel better?"

Bill: "Nobody asked you. BM, I am here. So is Buddhi. You come down"

I start laughing. Buddhi takes out the camera she just packed up.

BM: "What are you people doing?"

Me: "What does it look like? Bill will save you. And we will capture this rescue on camera"

BM: "People are staring at me"

Me: "They just want the space. Its prime photo point. Get down"

BM: "Its all stone"

Me: "Don't think we can change that now. For God's sake, its hardly your height. Turn around and scramble down"

BM: "I know. I don't know why I am behaving like this"

Bill: "Its the sun"

BM: "What?"

Bill: "This is the first straight 48 hour period you haven't seen the sun, right? This happens all the time. Just get down"

Yeah yeah, she did. Finally. There were quite a few spectators. They clapped promptly.


So we are all at Tesco picking up milk and stuff on our way back home. Bill talks to his friends at the till as usual.

"That's what I was telling you about. They think he's from Lahore"

BM: "Yeah man. He doesn't seem to want to correct that impression. And where did he learn to speak such good Hindi?"

Me: "Kanpur. He tries to hide his UP past but we know alright"

Bill: "UP? Did you say UP darling? But isn't Kanpur in Maharashtra? And Nagpur in UP?"

Me: "Only during my X boards did I think that. Lost 0.5 marks in Geography because of stupid N Indian towns that I shouldn't have to care about anyway"

BM: "See, this is what I call convent school behaviour. Every other minute they will be cribbing about the 0.25 marks they lost somewhere"

Me: "Hello, Bill went to convent too"

BM: "Not boys convent. Just girls convent. Where all the nuns are abusive"

Buddhi: "Look. Someone is teaching Math"


Bulletin board post-it says: Maths tuition available from Cambridge graduate. Get you back on track. Call XXXXX

Me: "Nice. Good way to make money. You think we should let Bill do this?"

Buddhi: "Yes, we can let Bill teach bankers Math"

Me: "Wait, bankers already know that"

BM: "Says who? This is real Math we are talking about here. Not banker Math. I can so see this. We will put up posters saying "discover the Ramaujan in you". This will work. Bill, did you see this?"

Bill: "Yeah, its not a bad idea, is it? Lets go. We are late"

Me: "Wait, I know that number"

We all turn to look at Bill.

Bill: "What? I am not a Cambridge graduate"

Me: "We know but why does it have your number?"

Bill: "How do I know?"


BM: "You do know that your blog readership is all psycho?"

Me: "Including you?"

BM: "No, not me, everyone else is psycho"

Me: "So you just hang out with psychos?"

BM: "Not really. I am just this childhood friend type person. I don't have a choice"

Me: "I see. My blog you do not have a choice. But why do you read all the other psychos' blogs? Surely there's a choice there"

BM: "Yeah, well. Its like a learning experience"

Me: "Learning about how psychos write?"

BM: "Yeah. So that I know how to spot them easily"

Me: "Why would you want to spot them?"

BM: "So that I don't have to hang out with them"

Me: "So you hang out with psychos now because sometime in the future, once you have learnt all about them, you do not want to hang out with them? That sounds very psycho behaviour to me"

BM: "You are just turning this around for no reason. What I mean is normal people do not read your blog. So you have to appeal to normal people"

Me: "How do I appeal to normal people?"

BM: "Number of things you can do. For instance, you can start writing about how Bill and you met"

Me: "Yeah, thats an interesting story actually. Anoop carries poor broken-leg-me inside his apartment and Bill is parked on couch being all pretentious. And A had made vattha kozhambu. I remember that. Awesome food we had that day"

BM: "No dumbo. Not like that. Like how all feelings happened when you saw Bill"

Me: "Feelings happened? Oh, I get it now. This is the sort of post that people will go Awwww..over. I hate that. That's my second most hated type of posts"

BM: "What's the first?"

Me: "Posts that people come and empathize with blogger and say things like Hugs. Those posts should be banned. As for the commenters, well, lets not go there"

(Now please go back to previous post and see BM's comment.
BM: Two more H-word comments and you are out. All comments will be deleted


Tabula Rasa said...

it's so good to be understood - i feel all warm inside.

blackmamba said...



blackmamba said...

Hugs! Hugs! Hugs! Hugs! Hugs! Hugs!

Awww! Awww! Awww! Awww!

Hugs! Hugs! Hugs! Hugs! Hugs! Hugs!

ps: :P

TR: I just got back after some 14 hours on my feet, so I am not sure what you are talking about. do you mean you are? or are not?!

Veena said...

BM: Kisses! Kisses! Kisses!

Or if I have to be all British about it,
Dairy Milk! Dairy Milk! Dairy Milk!


blackmamba said...

veens, I just got back from the weirdest massage possible - the paris metro rush-hour squeeze.. someone should patent this, I say.
It is fun and all, but I will take diary milk or kisses or anything else at this point.

and haha, you did not delete my comments. for such love, I will even take the kisses.... not.

Veena said...

Ya ya. We were just nice to you in London. Told workers of London not to strike as you were in town.

Since you seem to be replying only on blogs, dude, could you like let me know abt that tour thingy on Saturday? Should I book or not? And the St Martins is booked- please to turn up at Trafalgar from St Pancras on Friday - the concert is at 7.30.

Anonymous said...

just bought more browsing time, will email. wait.


Space Bar said...

who's bm calling psycho? i'm going to send warm, mushy vampire hugs all around.

if this is only part one, and since you're making so many stories up, i insist you concoct some marshmallow-in-chocolate-by-the fireside heart-warming tale, veena.
rescuing bm from stone lions almost makes it.

hurry up with part two!

Anoop said...

Oh no, not another "part 1" title with no part 2 forthcoming ever. Instead you should just call it

- BM and Buddhi in London
- BM and Buddhi back in London
- BM and Buddhi in London again
- More BM and Buddhi in London
- Still more BM and Buddhi in London
- Lots more BM and Buddhi in London
- The Best of BM and Buddhi in London

Is that how you and Bill really met? I thought you had met before the accident and all.

BM - the rush-hour-travel-massage thingy has already been patented by Mumbai's local train system long before it became fashionable in Paris.

I'm in Lucknow at the moment. If fate had decreed otherwise, I'd have been in London / Paris with you guys.

Hugs to all! :)

Veena said...

SB: You credit me with imagination that I do not have. Exaggeration, yes. Imagination, No. Except for Bill's number on bulletin board note, its all true. God promise.

And yes, you are psycho. Since readership consists of a handful of people, it wasn't difficult to figure out who she was calling psycho. Apparently the only two borderline characters (i.e. wannabe-psychos but in reality sane) are Prof-da (is it still good to be understood TR?) and Falsie. Everyone else is psycho. You definitely are.

Anoop: Is that all from William?

Yeah, thats when I met Bill. He was so insignificant that I didn't realise he existed for the next year or so but that's when we met. No, none of the kids I met before the accident because they hadn't landed in Pitt then.

And Anoop, we are all awaiting further information regarding this India trip. Sneak preview isn't enough. Is there a chance that you are flying back via London?

Space Bar said...

Psycho Spaniard sounds like a post...thank you.

And William would make it Sweet BM and Buddhi. Just BM. BM the Conqueror. that kind of thing. You're thinking of Biggles or something.

Cheshire Cat said...

I find all this anti-psycho discrimination very upsetting. And you really should think twice about upsetting me, seeing as I'm a psycho...

Ravages/CC said...

(predictable and lame, I know. But...)
(Can I get a Dairy Milk - the chocolate please? For being such a regular, not-so-psycho commenter?)

Ravages/CC said...

Ok, What? Falsie not psycho? COME ON! Somebody to write like that and then add a gazzilion footnotes and then make it all sound/feel/look easy is psycho in my book.

Tabula Rasa said...

you club me with falsie and ask how it feels?

i think you got your answer.

Veena said...

Psycho Spaniard and Psycho Cat: Rest assured that no psycho living or dead shall feel discriminated against in this humble blog.

Ravages: Hmm..real psychos don't try so hard to prove they are psycho. They just are.

TR: I don't know TR. If anyone clubbed me with Falsie in any category, I'd be seriously worried. But guess its just me.

Space Bar said...

I am Madame Nosetradamus...famous psychotic with a bad cold.

No, wait. I've got a little mixed up, haven't I?

Aah...who can tell!

Falstaff said...

veena: I take exception to being called sane and non-psycho. I take even more serious exception to being used to club people with. Where's a blackjack (that's a cosh to you) when you need one?

Space Bar: So one cold and you think you're the wisest woman in Europe?

Space Bar said...

In the world Falstaff, in the world/. What's a little cold when the wisdom of the ages is all mine?

Anonymous said...

Quick questions (seeing as I am a reader of your blog).

1. Why am I classified as psycho?
2. If I am not psycho why am I classified with Falsie?


Veena said...

n!: You are in the psycho category. In some ways, this is the opposite of Falsie - you try hard to make a point of how you are not a psycho that you could only be one.