Saturday, November 22, 2008

Vanity, thy name is Bill

Thursday night.



"Why are you still up?"

"You think only you have work?"

"Oh ok. Some paper deadline?"

"Yeah some comedy. I told you na. We are making Intel and AMD fight"

"Yeah. But why are you working late?"

"Because our paper is based on wrong assumptions now"

"So you are not going to ACM?"

"Who said that?"

"If you paper is all wrong, then what are going to talk about?"

"We are changing some things before it goes to print. Its all fine"

"I see"

"When do you stop working crazy hours?"

"When you start pulling in money"

"Of course"

"Hey. Are you tired?"

"Not really"

"You worked through the day?"



"What's wrong?"

"You look different"


"True only"

"You are the one who is tired and seeing things. Go to sleep"


Friday night.

"Dude, today I am not tired. In fact, I didn't do much work. We had meeting and that was it"

"Ok. So?"

"And you still look different"

"Don't be silly"

"What have you done?"

"What could I have done? This is all because of your bad couple of weeks. You are imagining things"

"I am not"


This morning. I wake up and walk into living room. See this.

Promptly head back to bedroom.

"You bastard"


"Do you want to wake up and shall I get some cold water?"

"What are you shouting early in the morning for? Some of us would like to sleep"

"First of all, I am not shouting"

"If you say so"

"And now, you will wake up from your beauty sleep and explain yourself"

"Come on now, its what? 6 AM?"

"9 actually"


"Prove it"


"It is 9 AM. If you think its 6, prove me wrong"

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. Just show me it isn't 9"

"You are mad"


"I am going back to sleep"

"No, you are not"

"Okay man. Where is the stupid clock? Here, look at the time"

"No, you look at it. And tell me the time"


"Tell me what the time is"

"I have no idea what has gotten into you"

"What is the time Bill?"

"Where are my fucking gla...fuck"


"I can't believe you didn't see it for two whole days"

"Oh, its my fault now"

"Nobody's fault. You were just tired"

"And so you didn't tell me"

"Its not a big deal. Why are you all worked up?"

"I am not worked up. You know bloody well there is only one question I have"


"How much do they cover?"

"200 quid"

"How much is the fucking thing?"

"Slightly more"

"How much more of my money have you spent now?"

"Not a big deal alright"

"How much?"


"You are kidding"


"Frames cost 440 quid nowadays?"

"See, its because you have this 20-20 vision that you don't realise such things. They always cost so much"


"Just because you are this lucky person with perfect vision you don't see the issues that we not so lucky people have to go through"

"What was wrong with your old lens?"

"Nothing. It just was like five years since I got them"

"That doesn't mean anything"

"I was slightly bored of them"

"So you went and spent 440 quid of my money"

"Well, it was for you only"

"For me?"

"Yeah, these look all professorial no?"

"They do?"

"I think so"

"And why would I want you to look professorial?"

"You are the one who tells me to get a real job"

"Let me understand this. I tell you to get a real job. So you decide you will look like you have a real job. So you go and spend 400 quid on new frames"

"Perception is reality as you very well know"

"Whose perception?"

"Yours I guess"

"I am not delusional"

"Everyone else's. Don't act so outraged. Everyone noticed it. Everyone except you"

"Of course. It is my fault"

"And as usual, you will blame it on me"



Tabula Rasa said...

professorial? didn't anyone tell him that glasses are out / mohawks are in?

Space Bar said...

ok dude...just for a second there i thought bill was looking for insurance for the book.

(you need to check the nature of the blog now, after this post. let's see if it turns up 'compassionate'.)

Veena said...

TR: So like Bill. Trust him to spend all my money on something that's totally out of vogue.

And mohawks are so cool. If only I can now con BM to draw you and Bill and JAP with mohawks of varying styles, I can put up my Bill-growing-up-to-be-you-growing-up-to-be-JAP post.

BM - what say?

SB: Insurance for a book? You should come work for my current insurance client. They want new product ideas.

This blog is still very compassionate. Always will be. What do you performers know about being compassionate anyway?

Szerelem said...

those glasses are cool and please glasses are not out. They are dorky and very in. Even Orhan got new geeky glasses - too cute he looks now. I digress.


Tabula Rasa said...

YES! go BM go!

i'm sure JAP will agree that anything that associates us with hair is only to be held close and loved fondly.

wv: horsorr (the feel of a particularly abrasive mohawk)

blackmamba said...

Veena, TR, does the civil service allow mohawks?

Also, are mohawks taking the isolation tank route and making a comeback? retro-chic profs :)