Tuesday, April 14, 2009

How (not) to do your taxes

Step 0: Ensure that you have to file taxes in as many countries as possible

Step 1: Schedule vacation for two / three weeks before tax due date. Also ensure that atleast one person on the trip is from country you have to file taxes in

Step 2: Put in a reminder in your diary for the day you leave reminding yourself that you should not forget to do your taxes before you leave for holiday

Step 3: Check diary half hour before you are due to leave for airport

Step 4: Panic.

Step 5: Consider filing extension, but decide against it as you hit on bright idea - do taxes on the plane and all you have to do is to hand it over to friend who is coming with you on vacation and she can worry about filing it once she gets back into her country

Step 6: Forget to take a couple of required attachments and numbers you need to fill in form

Step 7: Needless to say, don't bother to spend your plane time doing taxes. Watch movies or go to sleep

Step 8: Last day of holiday, check diary again.

Step 9: Panic.

Step 10: Spend two hours in the morning in exotic country doing taxes

Step 11: Lament to other backpackers in the hostel as well as hostel owners about taxes. What better way to make friends?

Step 12: Realise that you do not have all the required forms

Step 13: Panic

Step 14: Bright idea again. Sign form and give it to friend. Tell her that you will send numbers and documentation once you get home, and she can fill your form with the numbers you provide

Step 15: Fly home and search for docs. It ain't there.

Step 16: Panic.

Step 17: Discover docs after a 3 hour search

Step 18: Send to friend required numbers and documents

Step 19: The funnest bit. Remind friend every other minute that she has to file your taxes as soon as possible. Tell her that you have not met a more inefficient person in your life and she better hurry up before the deadline.

Sounds like fun? Trust me, it is. Try it yourself.

PS: I know people. But first, let me do taxes alright?

PPS: BM, what are you doing reading blogs? Go do my taxes and file them asap. There is no time.

5 comments:

Cheshire Cat said...

Sounds like a lot of needless panic. What's with this obsession for doing taxes on time? Governments have too little to do in any case - chasing up will keep them fit and in fine fiddle.

blackmamba said...

Step 14: Bright idea again. Sign form and give it to friend. Tell her that you will send numbers and documentation once you get home, and she can fill your form with the numbers you provide
umm... a bit inaccurate no? I had the said "bright idea", while you were just standing around panicking.

Step 19: The funnest bit. Remind friend every other minute that she has to file your taxes as soon as possible. Tell her that you have not met a more inefficient person in your life and she better hurry up before the deadline.ie, by asking Bill to send one email with required attachments for your taxes forms 48 hours after getting back. And on Apr 14th.

well, I rest my case.

Veena said...

Cat: It might also mean next time I land up at O'Hare, they might send me back.

BM: Ya of course, the idea was to make you offer to do it yourself. Can you imagine your reaction if I had suggested it?

And come on now, Bill is inefficient and all but he's not that bad. Its only been 24 hours since we got back (unlike you we did not cross the Intl. Date Line) and we spent most of that time sleeping.

blackmamba said...

Ya of course, the idea was to make you offer to do it yourself.rrrrrrrrrright...I think I know you well enough to say you aren't such a good actress. ;)

besides I am not sure why you decided to pass your tax forms to someone who doesn't want to do her own taxes.

I just pay someone else good money to go through my papers and file it for me.

good luck with your taxes :)

blackmamba said...

@Cat

Let me refresh your memory a bit. Veena's dad was not called the Don on her BedABong blog for no reason. And you know how Al Capone was finally put in prison for tax evasion. I am assuming you will be connecting the dots now. It isn't your taxes or mine. It is her taxes. :D