Saturday, June 19, 2010

Life in the UK test: FAIL

(If we ever have to take it, that is)

Switched on TV last night to get to Jon Stewart and turns out some channel was telecasting football.

"Oh, there is an England match today, I think"

"Really? Who are they playing?"


"Which colour is England?"

"Hmm..Can't possibly be green, can it?"

"True. The guys in white"

"Do you know what Wayne Rooney looks like?"

"No. Should have paid more attention to the Metro"

"Yeah, I guess"


"Those two chaps sitting there, one of them looks familiar, no?"

"Hmm. They must be reserves"

"Yeah, but why are they wearing suit and jacket and all?!"

"These English are comic"

"I know"

Commentator says: There you see England being represented by the royal family. Prince William and Prince Harry

"That's what they look like kya?"

"I told you one of them looks familiar"

"We are so failing the life in the UK test"

"I know"

If you haven't had enough, at this point, my mum walks in.

"Isn't that the princes?"

"How do you know?"

"They are in the Metro all the time"

"Maybe you should take Life in the UK test"

"Btw, there is something wrong with this TV. You should tell the landlord"

"I don't think so"

"There is. What is that noise?"

"What noise?"

"Its like a swarm of giant vandus humming.

"Oh, that's part of the game"

"Someone is sitting there making that noise? What idiots!"

"Amma! Its a stadium horn. Vuvuzela"

"How can one focus on anything with that irritating thing going on?"

"How do you focus on weddings when someone is blasting that nadaswaram?"

"Oh, that's to get rid of other sounds"

"Like what?"

"Like the people who attend the wedding. Can you imagine the din without the nadaswaram?"

"Same thing"


Fëanor said...

No, no, there's still hope. The Life in the UK test doesn't care about whether you can recognise the princes. But since you can recognise the vuvuzela, you have the possibility to emigrate to South Africa.

??! said...

The key, automatic-qualifying question(s) would've been -
1a. Did you recognise David Beckham?
1b. Why was he not playing?

Veena said...

Feanor: No? What do they ask then?! And no chance in S. Africa. I can't imagine having to stand that irritating instrument on a regular basis.

1a. Yes, I think so.
1b. No idea. Too busy hanging out with Posh? (See, see, I know who he is married to. That counts for something, no?)

peter willson said...

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