Amma in God's own country

No, no, not the hugging one. The one from Poes Garden. AIADMK is apparently contesting 54 assembly seats in Kerala in the upcoming elections. Amma has figured that she has "huge support" from the state and believes that this is the first step to making AIADMK a national party.

How did she garner this "huge support", you ask?

"A baby elephant that Jayalalitha gifted to the famous Guruvayoor temple after her party won the 2001 assembly elections has also helped sway the state's sentiment in AIADMK's favour, Rajapandian said."

Elephants are the way to go, yes. Next time you want to get people to vote for you, buy them an elephant. Hang on, that's two actually. The baby and the amma.

Now for the maifesto:

1. Make Munnar a world-class holiday resort. Of course these Keralites know nothing about world-class resorts. Look at us - we have managed to put so many amma cutouts in Mahabalipuram that the tourists cannot get enough of it. We will do the same in every tea estate in Munnar.

2. Upgrade Vizhijam port. Remember Sethusamudram, anyone?

3. Promote Kathakali and Kalaripayattu as national art forms. Yeah right. They will soon attain the same status as Karagattam.

4. Free bicycles to all kids to enable them to go to school. Huh? You have to bribe to get the parents to send their kids to school in Kerala? Since when?

5. Set up women's self-help groups everywhere. The women of Kerala will now be empowered. Like their counterparts across the border, they will soon have the power to fall at amma's feet 3007 times a day.

6. Bring development that will stop the exodus of Mallus to Gelf. Muahahaha.