Friday, April 14, 2006

Reservations? Bring it on...

I sat down to write one long, rambling post on the whole reservation comedy. Ended up writing one too but towards the end, I lost all enthusiasm for fighting with people. I hate confrontations anyway :) So that post ain't going to see the light of the day. Instead, here's an idea that will win hearts and minds. The only people who will oppose this policy will be IIT alumni but since their arguments will be completely colored by a deep shade of green, we can completely disregard them.

IITB batch of 2001, Bill tells me, had 27 women. Not surprisingly, he is not sure exactly how many men were there and gives me an approximate figure of 400. That is about 1 in 20. (Hang on, 1 in 43 apparently if you count just his CS batch.) Women account for about 48% of the Indian population (2% killed off and all that jazz). There is no question about the discrimination meted out to women through the centuries; no question that this discrimination pervades every section of society today. There is also no question that these women need to be given the right opportunities that would enable them to join the mainstream. That after 60 years of independence, we have only 5% of women in our top institutions of learning is a crying shame. (WTH is a crying shame btw?)

So, ladies and gentlemen, here's our new women empowerment policy - 45% of seats in all IITs reserved for women. For those of you who don't like the idea of reservations, lets call this affirmative action and we will add an extra x points to the JEE score so that these talented women will make the cut.

I can't even begin to talk about the advantages of such a policy. Just think about the diversity that these women will bring to an IIT campus. They will actually have more women than leopards in their campus, just think about it! Can you think of a more enriching experience for the depraved men of the IITs? The cream of our country will finally learn that there are such things as social skills, and showers. Next time they see a woman on the street, they will know that it isn't some strange extraterrestrial being that you keep gawking at but something as normal as the girl next to you in Machines class.

In case you are wondering that the advantages are all on one side, here are some benefits to the women - think of the improvement in self-esteem when they see all this attention they get which they would never have gotten if they didn't go to an IIT. As for the women who would get in without reservations, now that the proportions are not so much in their favor, they will actually start doing their own homeworks instead of getting the men to do it for them. And that as you all know will only help them in the long run.

I could keep going on. There are no downsides to this policy. The brand value argument doesn't hold - the drop in value is being more than balanced. When the men graduate from IIT and start working, they will actually do some work instead of spending hours leching at the receptionist. What more value can one ask for?

If you are still unconvinced, lets put this through a ballot. All current students of the IITs are eligible to vote - they get to choose between no reservation and 45% reservation for women. There's no question what they will choose. The only debate will be about the weightage given to good looking women. What say?

14 comments:

Falstaff said...

Veena: Three things:

1) "There are no downsides to this policy". Ya, if you're heterosexual maybe. It's a blatant violation of gay rights. And you're supposed to be a bleeding heart liberal.

2) I think you're confusing cause and effect here. Men don't turn into social losers because they go to an IIT. They go to IITs because they're social losers. The whole point about IIT is that it's a lonely schoolboy's fantasy about a safe haven where personality doesn't matter, only the ability to do math.

3) Finally, you say more women than leopards on campus as if it's a good thing. That need not be true. Just thinking about the women I know from the IITs I can think of several cases where the leopard would be preferable.

Veena said...

1)I thought homosexual men had some taste. You mean they would actually go find a partner at the IITs? Oh c'mon..would you?

2)And I suppose men who go to the IIMs have such charming personalities. I would never have known.

3)That's exactly why you need women there who wouldn't get in through open quota. See my point?

Falstaff said...

Veena: Ah, but you don't get together with guys from IIT because they're hot. You get together with them (and marry them, if state laws will allow) as an investment. So eventually, you have someone to pay your bills while you watch Johnny Depp movies and sigh over what could never be. I thought you of all people would understand that. :-).

And of course IIM guys have great personalities. The 2.3% of them who aren't engineers that is.

See your point about the leopards though. Come to think of it, with real women on campus we could have gladiatoral contests on campus. Leopards 0, Open Category women 3. Caligula rules.

Cheshire Cat said...

I love the "45%" touch. We couldn't possibly have the balance in favor of the men, could we?

Veena said...

Falstaff: Watching Johnny Depp movies and sigh over what could never be - Neat. The story of my life.

And ofcourse, the question of how long term the investement actually is. As you know, I am still paying the bills around here.

Cat: Of course. This is all about equality. We wouldn't want any kind of imbalance here. :)

Falstaff said...

Veena: I'm with you. I think it's time that all these IIT guys started taking their responsibilities seriously - paying the bills not just for their wives, but for their wives' penniless and single PhD friends as well.

Rohit De said...

This is not as much of a satire as it sounds. Till the 1970s women made up less than 10% of American law schools. Today they are a little over 50%. Initial affirmative action policies created female role models and encouraged a lot more women to apply. Plus, lawschool men have better social lifes :-)

Veena said...

Bill darling: Go, go form your support group. But next time, you go out to dinner don't expect me to pay for it.

Falstaff: Do you see now? This creature has no intention of taking any responsibilty. What am I to do?

Red: Ya ya, looks like the tech schools are learning too. Not for nothing did Bill manage to get himself into the admissions committee last couple of years and try to get every woman who applied into the phd program!

(Falstaff: I tried to make some money out of this since all else failed. You know, con people into paying me money for Bill to recommend them for admission types. Didn't work as he was only interested in getting all the women in and needed no incentive to do that.)

obc voice said...

camelpost,
how many of the women you mentioned (in BITS) are dalits and OBCs?

Falstaff said...

Bill: Sorry, but no can do. My heart bleeds for you, it really does, but being penniless when you're married and have a spouse to sponge off just isn't the same as being the truly deserving poor. I'm sorry if that seems harsh, but you made her pay for your bed, now you'll just have to lie in it.

Veena: I don't see why that should have stopped you a) as long as they didn't know that he would do it for free you could still have got them to pay and b) the whole point of being married to the man is that what he wants to do ceases to matter. You should just have cracked your whip and told him he had to admit all the rich but balding 45 year olds who were applying to a Phd in the throes of a mid-life crisis. Otherwise it was dinner at McDonald's the next time he was in Chicago.

Falstaff said...

bill: Okay, okay, you can be part of the support group. Now sssshhh! she might hear you.

Falstaff said...

bill: Now look what you did. She's making me pay for the brownstone now. ME!! (sob!) I hope you're happy.

MR: Ya, whatever. Given how much you eat and how much I eat, that's going to hurt you more than it's going to hurt me.

Nirav said...

Veena... I know that there is a fair bit of jest involved in this post, but I had to say this... sorry, but I do not support your views. Don't get me wrong... I am in complete agreement about the discrimination against women and the fact that it needs to be redeemed.

However, by making this reservation at a post-grad level, you are making it open for those women who, in general, have not faced this discrimination... who have completed their primary, secondary education and also their graduation.

So how does this policy redeem the actual 'discriminated' class? Those who are made to sit at home and not go to school so that their brothers can study? If anything needs to be done, it is at the primary level... reservations at post-grad level are a sham, coz the people availing it, are those who do not actually represent the core discriminated class, but are those who have had the facilities and finances to reach that level anyway

thelonelyfurrow said...

Guys, let us start a revolution. Let there be 100% Reservations! Let there be a new parallel education / job system, where the students / workers, management and even the friggin sweepers are appointed with reservations. And let there be 0% reservations in all the other institutions.

The time the OBC etc is born, he will have a certain admission into the reservation education system. He can study till whatever time he wants to. The teachers too are 100% from the reservation cadre. The reservation student after completion of his studies, will have an assured job in the Government. After all, didn't Nehru say that another purpose of the Public Sector was to generate employment?