Thursday, August 23, 2007

Scenes from a Marriage: The Unemployed life

"This is not sustainable"

"What is not sustainable?"

"This life"

"What life are you talking about?"

"What did you do today?"

"Hmm..let me think. After you left, I read for a bit. Saw a movie. Had lunch, went to library and got some other books and DVDs. Walked in the park. Came home, talked to mom. Reading now"

"You could have cooked something na?"

"Didn't feel like it. One of these days, I will"

"What did you do yesterday?"

"More or less the same. Why do you want to know all this now?"

"And the day before?"

"Similar stuff only. Wait, yesterday I figured I will do some shopping. Not that I wanted anything but you know, let me go see what all these shoppers do and maybe get something"


"Usual only. Got so sick of it after fifteen minutes. Oxford St is so claustrophobic. And all those people..eeks!"

"You know you only go shopping when you want to feel all superior to those shoppers who have nothing better to do"

"Could be true. But really, it puts me off so much. If I want anything, I will fly to America and shop at a mall there. If nothing else, its so not pretentious like it is here. And next time I tell you that I want to go shopping when I don't have to buy anything please remind me of the last time I did that"

"My pleasure. But coming back to the point, this schedule you got going, this is your life now?"

"Well, no. Next week I am thinking I will go to a few museums. There are some special exhibits which sound interesting"

"What about planning for this Scotland trip?"

"I have to plan for that now?"

"Well you are the one sitting at home with nothing to do"

"Not entirely accurate. I am getting so much reading done"

"Why can't you spend some time and plan this trip?"

"You know why"

"No, I don't"

"Where is the money going to come from?"

"What money?"

"The money for the trip. Now that I don't work, we can't afford it you idiot. Where are you going to find the money?"


"Its not like before. We can't take off anywhere we want to"

"And for some reason, you are so happy with this life"

"I am just getting used to it. Now that I have lived it for three whole days, I see how this can grow on you. I am beginning to understand how you could do five years of your life doing nothing. Its fun"


"Isn't it? Why did you do it if it wasn't?"

"Hello, I was working the last five years of my life"

"Yeah right. Towards what? As far as I know, you don't even have a PhD"

"Lots of people don't graduate"

"Yeah yeah. You know what? Falstaff, even Falstaff is writing his dissertation ok? Look at you!"

"That doesn't mean anything. Even I have written my dissertation"


"The point is that you have to get your act together"

"I have to do what? Hello, I am happy the way I am thank you"

"You can't live this life!"

"Why? I will be happy. And anyway, you promised me food and clothes"

"I did what?"

"I have photographic evidence ok? And BM was there too. After the wedding when we were in Cal, they got you to give me one plate with sari and food and they said it meant that you will provide with clothes and food for the rest of my life. I don't forget such things"

"Oh my God!"

"I am a woman of modest needs. Food I can even cook when I feel like it. And I don't particularly like shopping. Very low maintenance. You have the dream wife!"

"No no no, I had the dream wife. She used to pull in more than twice as much as I made. And she wanted to go to Scotland and everywhere else. Now I am left with you!"

"So what are you going to do?"

"This is not what I signed up for. I want my money back"

"Excuse me, what money? If anyone is getting paid in this, its me. Shall we do accounts now?"

"Oh no. Leave that alone, I didn't say anything. Oh God, what am I going to to?"

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all"


Tabula Rasa said...

rofl! brilliant - especially the fact that i'd assigned roles in my head right at the beginning and then i got to the middle and had to switch parts, forcing me to count off lines up and down.

and a special shout out to the *even* falstaff. poor guy :-D

Falstaff said...

why me?!

And it's not like I'm actually making any progress on my dissertation, you know. I'm just 'working' on it. And that's only because I don't have the luxury of someone who'll pay the rent and take me on trips to Scotland.

Space Bar said...

I am going to insist on one Bergman post a week (shorthand. easier, no?)

can you do dialogues in many languages? you totally have to do dialogues for my film - the script of which, like Falstaff's dissertation, I'm 'working' on.

(on a related note, I can't see Vandiyathevan being all heroic if he's going to land up talking like Bill. you know?)

Veena said...

TR: Yes! I deliberately took out names I had put in so as to confuse people. Glad it worked.

Falsie: Aren't you the one who keeps going on abt how you haven't even figured out topic yet?! And hey, Bill doesn't have the luxury either. Not anymore!

SB: Which language are you working on?

As for Vandiyathevan, he is our hero, yes, but he is not the traditionaal "hero" material, is he now? I can so do conversations between him and Kundavai, Nandini, Azhwarkadiyan type people. My problem is with self-important heroes like Aditha Karikalan. What do we do with them?

Space Bar said...

My problem is with self-important heroes like Aditha Karikalan. What do we do with them?

kill them off quickly. they die anyway. :D

Erm. I work in English. What languages do you do?

Falstaff said...

veena: Of course Bill still has that luxury. It's not like you're going to be unemployed for ever. What's a few months here or there to us academics - who are used to thinking in increments of five years? Besides, he can always play unemployment chicken - just stick with not getting a proper job and see which of you breaks first. I'm betting he'll win. If I tried doing that I'd end up panhandling at 30th Street Station - and I can't even sing.

Oh, and I don't have a topic for my dissertation. I'm currently working on the assumption that if I write it, it will come.

Veena said...

SB: Yeah, Karikalan is easy to kill off. The title character could be a problem but you know, when we get there 32.5 years from now, we will think abt it. :)

Oh, I can do Tam reasonably well. Mallu, a language that I should be more familiar with is more difficult. Wait till I get back from Scotland and I will post some Cholaland conversation. You can translate that into heartland Tam and see how that sounds (No no, not the excuse for the language that you urbanised Tam Brams speak, I mean real "daughter of the soil" heartland Tam!)

Falstaff: You are giving me ideas now. Perhaps not forever, but I am thinking I will stay unemployed for a few months at least. Just to watch Bill. Its super entertaining.

If you write it, it will come? I have always thought that all your pessimism stuff was just an act. Now I know for sure.