Monday, April 14, 2008

With moms like these...

"Hey, what's that you are adding in coffee? Can I have it too?"

"Not coffee, just milk. Turmeric and pepper to help with my cough"

"Oh, but that doesn't look like turmeric or pepper"

"Yeah, this is something else"

"I am waiting"

"Palm sugar"

"Panam kalkandu! You people also have palm sugar?"

"What do you mean?"

"Its like the most common home remedy for cough. Its supposedly great for that. Didn't know you guys also have palm sugar"

"Yeah, we do have palm sugar"

"Hmm..ok. Did you pick it up from some indian store?"

"Not really"

"Oh so you get it normal grocery stores? Like Sainsburys?"

"I don't know"

"Well, where did it you get it from?"

"I was telling parents na about cough. So they sent it"

"Oh cool. Good for you. Anyway, I love this thing. I will also have some. Wait, your parents sent this?"


"This is my mom's handwriting"


"You told me your parents sent this?"

"No, I said parents sent this"


"It came today"

"But you talked to her hardly a couple of days ago"


"Wait, my mom sent this to you by DHL?"


"Because you coughed like once when you talked to her?"


"And she refused to send my cramps medication by speed post!"

"I wouldn't know about that"

"You wouldn't. I am calling her like now. I refuse to talk to her"

"Then why are you calling her?"

"Shut up and go away"



"I was just going to call you. It is terrible. You have no idea what happened"


"B is in love with some boy it seems"

"Okay? And you do not approve of people being in love because?"

"No di. This boy is well, not a boy. He is 33. Can you believe it? She is hardly 22. Girls of nowadays. Its all your Dad's fault"

"Wait, where does he come in?"

"He only pampered this kid and convinced her parents and sent her off to city to study and all no? Now people will blame him only"

"Yeah, his fault because he wanted kid to study"

"Anyway, it is okay if she is in love with some decent classmate or someone like that. This boy is 33 and he does nothing"


"Yes, he doesn't have a job. He claims to run some business but nothing is in his name. He just goes around Madras in his bike, everyone is saying"


"Can't make a single paise. Just spends and spends. God, it is horrible"


"This girl has no sense. Who will want to marry someone like that?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know what she fell her. Whatever happens to girls of nowadays? They watch too many movies, I think"

"Yeah, could be"

"Kadhalam kadhal. Kathirikkai, I say"

"Yeah, one rule for us, another rule for others"

"Same rule for everyone. Find someone decent, thats all. This girl is mad - maybe we should talk her to a psycharitist"


"Why else will she fall in love with someone this useless?"

"Its not that uncommon"

"Nonsense. You tell me who else in our family married someone like this?"

"Maybe you should look into immediate family"


"I mean its not like you discourage people from marrying useless people. Then you cannot complain if other people learn or rather not learn from it"

"What are you talking about?"

"Your own son-in-law is the most useless person on the face of this earth. And yet, what do you do? Send him panam karkandu by DHL"

"Oh. How is his cough? The poor thing was coughing so badly when I talked to him"

"To hell with his cough. You tell me how he is any way better than this B's 33 year old?"

"Don't talk nonsense. How can you compare this stupid chap with Bill?"

"Because Bill is useless and you refuse to see it?"

"If he is so uselss, why did you marry him?"

"Because you wanted me to"

"Yeah, its all my fault"

"Of course"


Space Bar said...

Maybe your mother specialises in couriering cough medication, no?

Veena said...

SB: Can't believe I forgot about that! I should tell her that.

(Though in that case, I bought and packed it. She just posted it. This one apparently was a special order from Chola land because the kalkandu they could get in Kerala were not well, son-in-law quality. Drives me insane.)

Phaedrus said...

Ha how much of this is fact and how much fiction? [:)]

But anyway think you are adorable!

Veena said...

Phaedrus: Well, lets just say that nothing in the post is untrue!

Adorable? Please! I am so very sure that wasn't what you meant. Would have deleted comment but certain miscreants have already gone to town with this.

Space Bar said...

I haven't heard the word 'adorable' used to describe someone outside of a Georgette Heyer. Veena instantly point us to those who have gone to town on this - I hope it's all online?

If it isn't, you know what your next post needs to be on.

Preeti said...

aww .. and here I was, thinking you guys were just cute.

Phaedrus said...

Oops..mea culpa!! So far I have always used "adorable" synonymous to "cute" and sometimes "charming". But looks like it is used in a very different context!!

*shakes head in disbelief and even thinks of making lame attempts at suggesting that their marital interactions deserved to be "Adoor" able but too distraught to even try that.. *

Tabula Rasa said...

yeah, and **hugzz**

(word verif: cxflx)

blackmamba said...

oh, how is Bill now? Can you (adorable Veena) let him know that I can mail him some very nice Panam Kalkandu (from the Anna Salai Khadi gramodyog store) in case his supply runs out?

rads said...

LOL! That was the funniest conversation ever! sorry :--D

Veena said...

SB: Georgette Heyer and puppies, must add. And not online thankfully. On mailing lists you are not on! And Bill's dug up some extremely irritating song which goes "my adorable darling..something something" and keeps playing it when I walk by.

Preeti: Cute and adorable we are. You wait until one of us kills the other

Phaedrus: Its alright. Just don't use such words anymore around here. (ps: charming is allright if used once in a while)

TR: Well, kissez.

BM: Go away.

Rads: Funny is okay. Allowed.

moimystique said...

hehe!!i'm visiting your blog after two years or so,was a fun read!

Ravages/CC said...

Wait a minute! Guy who does basically nothing, but rides a bike in Madras and girls fall in love with him? That sounds like me.
But he is 33. I am 26. So...hmmm...