“When is the Rooster getting here? It thought he was supposed to be here by now”
“Yeah..maybe I should call him. Wait, here’s a text”
At
“The usual what?”
Just to give you an idea of what the Rooster looks like, lets say that if you were teaching a bunch of school kids in
“No, not mistaknen. Nowadays they are just careful about Swedes”
"Yeah right"
"No seriously"“Why is that?”
“Look around you”
Bill and I looked around.
“Because you are on some most wanted list?”
“No, don’t look at me. Look around you. Look at your apartment and tell me why Swedes are dangerous”
We looked around again.
“You don’t mean what I think you mean?”
“What else could it be?”
“What do you see around you?”
“I see both of you”
“Not us”
“I see two couches, this armchair, bookshelf, dining table and chairs..”
“Exactly”
“What? Oh, wait. You mean, you mean Ikea?”
“Yes”
“What has that got to do with anything?”
“Ikea. Ikea terrorists. That’s what they are afraid of”
“Because of the stampede that results when a new store opens? Or because people die every year in the process of assembling their furniture?”
“Yes, that definitely. But its not just that”
“Then?”
“They think Ikea is the first step”
“Towards what?”
“World domination”
“Sweden taking over the world? How many of you are there again?”
“Nine million. But that’s hardly the point. How many officers were there in the India service again?"
"Yeah ok. But Swedes aren't exactly Brits. And this is 2007"
"So? A country of nine million and we have Ikea, SKF, Volvo, Saab, Bergman, and Bamse. Among other things. And not to forget, Absolut!”
“Yeah, a state owned vodka company. I have always wanted to move to Sweden”
“If they let us in, they are afraid that soon the world will convert”
“To what?”
“Everyone will be a social democrat. All states will become welfare states with a thriving market economy”
“And that’s bad because? No one wants to have the Swedish quality of life, I suppose”
“You guys know that. But they don’t agree. That’s why we are hunted”
“Hunted? Did you say hunted?”
“Yes. You know that EU passport line in the airports for instance. The only people they are learnt to be careful about are the Swedes”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, they ask us all sorts of things before letting us through”
“Like what?”
“They ask us whether we work for Ikea”
"They might just be curious. I would do that if I were this immigration officer. I mean, I have always wanted to know the two people who come up with names for the products.”
(Bill) "Wait, so what happens in immigration?"
“If we say No, we don't work for Ikea then they ask us if we plan to open a new store”
“Oh”
“And we have all been taught to say No”
“Taught? By whom?”
“Bamse”
“Of course”
3 comments:
"Two women in their late 40s somewhere in the Swedish heartland. You can meet them if you want to"
"Really?"
(Bill) "Wait, so what happens in immigration?"
“If we say No, we don't work for Ikea then they ask us if we plan to open a new store”
“Oh”
“And we have all been taught to say No”
“Taught? By whom?”
“Bamse”
“Of course”
Ok. Now I know you're making this up as you go along!
oofslcqc: 40 year old swedish women from the heartland when they've got on the outside of a few absoluts.
Heh! If you have to know though, tying Bamse in was the only part that I made up there. You can't hold me responsible for what Emil made up :)
Absolut or not, they do seem to have a perfect understanding of the names the Americans will go crazy abt!
Well, we can hold you responsible if you made up Emil... Then again, imaginary characters can be just as much fun as imaginary conversations.
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