Sunday, March 02, 2008

Scenes from a Marriage: A Dancer in the Dark

People, we have a Bill post. He wrote this on Saturday morning and I was dilly dallying all this while for reasons that will become obvious very soon but oh well, for those of you who think I am mean, check this out. (And Anoop, this is the post you asked for. Enjoy.)

Friday afternoon and people are leaving early, for Mother's Day weekend. I decided I would leave early too and get some sleep before Veena gets in. So took the train ride back and was back bright and early, even earlier than when she gets home (does she ever actually go to work? Apparently she does)

Half an hour later, in walks our heroine.


"Hey! Oh, why are you home this early?"

"I took an early train. But why are you in casual clothes?"

"Well, it's Friday. Casual Friday, you know? Oh wait, you don't. Trust someone who's never done a day's worth of real work to not know of how corporations work!"

"True, I don't. But I know enough to know you don't wear yoga pants and kurtas to casual fridays"

"Oh. Well, I thought I would go to the gym"

"But these aren't your gym clothes!"

"Well, all right, all right Mr Stasi. If you must know, I went for my Bharatnatyam class"

"Your what?"

"Bharat Natyam? The dance form? You North Indians may not know, but it is actually quite famous"

"Three things. First, I am not North Indian. Second, I know what Bharat Natyam is. And third, since when do you go in for things like this?"

"Well, I went for classes when I was eight"

"You have been going for more than twenty years and I don't know? Man, you have some major secret life. How did you hide it from me since I knew you? More than six years?"

"Don't be silly, I stopped when I was twelve"

"How come?"

"I fought with my teacher. She was going on and on about this spiritual angle and..."

"Yeah, yeah, your Marxist sensibilities couldn't take it anymore!"

"Oh shut up! Anyway, I just started again last month, after eighteen years. Man, it's so good to get back to it!"

"Last month? You have been to classes for a month and nobody knew about it?"

"Don't be silly. I told you about it. You have forgotten"

"No you didn't"

"Yes I did!"

"No you didn't! Trust me, I wouldn't forget something like this"

"Well, I am sure I told someone"

"Well, it wasn't me for sure. Tell me, tell me, how does this work? How did you get interested in this again?"

"I was always interested in Bharatnatyam. And it's good activity"

"You can go to the gym. Why Bharatnatyam?"

"It's so graceful, no? Not generally jumping up and down"

"Graceful? This doesn't sound like you at all. When did you start going for graceful?"

"I just felt like it, okay?"

"Wait, I know what this is about!"


"This started right after I got my violin, right? Right?"

"That's got nothing to do with it"

"Right! You are all jealous and want to be all culture-vulture like me"

"Nonsense! I am not pretentious like you. Look, I am tired of this, why don't I go take a shower and we can go out for dinner?"


Two hours later....

Swiss Cottage bus stop. Those of you who had the good fortune to be there know what I am talking about. For the rest (I am surprised some tabloid journalist didn't pick it up):

"It's all about the expressions. And the mudras. I don't think you know what that means, it's hand movements that's supposed to..."

"People are staring at you!"

"Like I care. Taka... jimmy.... taka...."

"What are you doing? Who is Jimmy and why are you calling him?"

"Just watch this. This is how you place your foot, and then you bend your knees... Do it with me. It's called aramandi. Now, dit..dit..dei...dit..dit..."

"She's fine, really. A glass or two does this to her.. No thanks, I can handle this.."

"What, I am not drunk, all right? I am just educating you on how this is done"

"Can't this wait until we get home?"

"No, it can't. Once we get home, you will start "Twinkle Twinkle little star" on your violin once again"

"Mozart, it's Mozart"

"Mozart, my foot"

"Yes, yes.. your foot. Keep it in one place, all right? Don't stamp that nice gentleman's foot, will you?"

"I am not stamping anybody! All I am doing is showing you how my hobby is so much cooler than yours"

"I knew it would come to this. Yes darling, your hobby is much cooler. Can we get home now?"

"My hobby even costs less! It's only ten quid an hour. Not like some people we know who pay twenty-five...."

"Yes, yes! Look, I have a plan, all right?"

"You have a plan? You actually have a plan to pay for something?"

"Yes I do"

"Let's hear this"

"I am going to be a busker. Play violin on the Underground. People will look at me and pay money to help poor kid. I think I can cover my violin expenses"

"This is your plan?"

"Of course! What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing darling, nothing at all. Just flag a cab, will you?"


Space Bar said...

Three things?! Did Falsie and you go to the same school, Bill?

And the thought of Veena going dit dit thay tam all over the feet of random passers-by is too gorgeous. You should find a way to frame it and put it up on a wall.

Ludwig said...

> Bharat Natyam

He really is North Indian, isn't he?

Tsk, tsk...

Fëanor said...

...why don't I go take a shower and we can go out for dinner?

You guys go out for dinner? Man, I've forgotten what that is like. I really need to import some aunty from desh to keep a beady eye on the little tyke so the wife and I can pig out by ourselves.

So, have you been to Nyonya yet?

??! said...

I am going to be a busker. Play violin on the Underground
How he could really make it big is by taping you dancing, playing it (on mute) on a screen, and then playing along with his violin to try and match your moves. He doesn't necessarily have to be good at music, either. Just call it modern fusion art.

Veena said...

SB: Bill says as far as he knows, there wasn't any asocial person in school hiding in the library. Except for him that is.

Luddo: Yes, yes, all proven wonly now (He keeps asking what wrong with Bharat Natyam?)

Feanor: There are enough kid friendly places around no? Angad should also get to pig out!

And yes, we did go to Nyonya. Liked the food a lot. Bill and I even had a disagreement - for some reason, he thinks the Otak Otak has poppy seed paste. If you know for sure, please to enlighten.

??!: Yeah and we will put this on a paid blog and make millions out of this.

Fëanor said...

Veena: ah, glad you liked Nyonya. As for kid-friendly places, they quickly become kid-hostile after one visit from us with the tyke. Angad doesn't pig out - he rampages all over the restaurant, introducing himself to all the guests and discussing his likes and dislikes. Many a romantic party has been dished by our man. Re: Otak-otak and poppy paste, no idea, I'm afraid.

Tabula Rasa said...

have you seen the sketch of mr bean busking? you guys could make a pretty duet out of it :-)

P said...

If marriage is as fun as the scenes you have shown here, I won't fight with my mother next time she brings it up :)

Veena said...

p: You are thinking about giving in? Oh no. Thats the last thing I want anyone to do. Tell you what? If you haven't already, go to your nearest library and get all six episodes of
and watch them back to back. Then you can decide whether to stop fighting with your mom or not.

P said...

Ok will try getting the DVD. I don't need much convincing for not giving in though. It's just that things like bribing with crossword puzzles and joking about dance/violin skills seemed too cute :) The thing that scares me most about marriage is that we will stop doing such silly things and only talk about chores, buying property and having kids.

other p said...

yes .. veena and bill are certainly very cute together.


Veena said...

other p: you couldn't have ignored that cute comment like all of us have? oh well, guess i will have to post a few things disproving this cute theory now.

p: just so that you know - we don't like words such as cute in this blog. we don't do them, no.

also, if i may say so, the key in any long-term relationship is to be clear about what is important and what is silly. for instance, property and kids - silly. crossword puzzles - very important.

P said...

Ok Veena, no more 'cute' comments :D
I love your 'silly vs important' philosophy. You have a very clear vision, I must say.