Monday, March 31, 2008

Thandavam in Baker St

Woke up bright and early yesterday, made reservations for upcoming trips, talked to amma and turned up at gym bright and early. Only to discover that well, what else, its the last weekend in March and I am an hour late for my usual class. The next available class was advanced spin which I wouldn't have attempted in my right mind but what can I say? I wasn't in my right mind. An hour and half later, a nearly dead moi knocked on door of flat.

"Hey"

"Hey. Can you get me some water?"

Bill starts coughing. Again.

"How come you start coughing like a TB patient everytime I ask for something?"

"Yeah, I am allergic to chores"

"I asked for water. Its not a chore"

"Thats how it starts. I know how this works"

"I don't care if you die of this silly cough. Can you get me water? And some orange juice while you are at it"

"Ya ya, here."

"What did you do while I was away?"

"I slept"

"I know. Other than that?"

"The guy downstairs woke me up. He was here"

"What guy downstairs?"

"The person who lives below"

"You know him?"

"No"

"How do you know he lives downstairs?"

"Because he told me"

"Some random person knocked on door and told you he lives downstairs?"

"Why would he lie?"

"Well, why was he here?"

"His picture fell down last night"

"What picture?"

"How do I know what picture hangs in his living room?"

"Then why is he telling you his picture fell down?"

"He said the walls were bouncing which is why the picture fell down"

"Bouncing walls? What was he on?"

"Well, his picture fell down. His picture wasn't on crack"

"Oh ok, VSPC was jumping about na?"

"VSPC left three days ago. This was last night"

"What are you insinuating?"

"I am not insinuating anything. You just have to stop this thandavam you have been doing. The floor will give away soon if you keep doing this"

"So its me then?"

"What else could it be?"

"Well, it could be your screechy music"

"Yes, my violin causes walls to bounce and pictures to fall"

"Of course. Its totally possible"

"But I wasn't playing it last night"

"How does he know it was last night? Was he home then?"

"How do I know?"

"You could have asked. We might have had nothing to do with this. He might just be framing us"

"Framing us? Why don't you go down, knock on his door and conduct a proper investigation?"

"Yeah? And what are you going to do?"

"Sleep"

"You just bloody woke up"

"This cough syrup makes me drowsy. Anyway I will only be a pain in your investigation. Wake me up once you are done"

10 comments:

Fëanor said...

Downstairs guy's picture drops and he tries to frame you guys? Hmm...(sorry, weak one. But it is Monday!)

Veena said...

Oh well, Bill and I had a bet on who would bring this framing thing up first. I had my money on TR but guess I should have thought of the time diff :)

Btw, what does hop mean in Russian? Your gypsy song is stuck in Bill's head and he hasn't stopped humming it since yestermorning.

Preeti said...

thandavam .. hmm ... is that what you kids are calling it these days?

Fëanor said...

Veena: what can I say? Sadly predictable in 'kadi', and unable to resist it even in the full knowledge of predictability. It's written on my forehead, heh.

Re: 'hop', it's an exclamation like 'hey'. Btw, that song is not Russian; it's a Slavic Romany. I think I've seen a translation somewhere so if I dig it up, shall duly inform.

Veena said...

Preeti: Ya ya. I guess I shouldn't have expected you cultureless n.indians to understand shiva thandavam and all. And no, our carpets and ceilings aren't that bad.

Feanor: Yeah, I know. Its called the Mallu gene :)

Oh thanks. Bill keeps watching the song with a disturbing regularity that I am beginning to think its more than just the tune.

Anonymous said...

veena, you should have called it,
"Shiv Thandav". I am 98 and 3/4 percent sure Bill did not know what you were talking about either.

blackmamba

Veena said...

BM: He actually does. As a matter of fact, he used the word first. After the Bharat Natyam fiasco when even Luddo (who he thought was on his side) called him N Indian, Bill uses 'a' and 'am' very liberally

Tabula Rasa said...

sorry, sorry. i've been a little erratic in my online habits of late.

but i guess i *can* add -- they can't frame you if you didn't leave any prints :-D

??! said...

You want to make money? Volunteer Bill for one of those reality shows. They'll be fighting over him.

zedzded said...

what naainsaafi is this!

you go all the way to the gym, do an hour of the advanced spin, come back all the way and up so many floors and you don't walk that additional 9 feet to get some water and orange juice!!!! You torture that little boy who is drugged-out on cough syrup.

we need Bill Protection Act asap