There was a time I was sad that I wasn't part of any scandal; after a marathon gossip session with BM or MR or one of that crowd, it would suddenly strike me that we talked about everyone else but moi! Marriage did that to me, I used to think, no one wants to talk about me anymore, overnight I have become uninteresting and not worth those precious night time minutes. Not anymore. All's well again. I am glad to inform you all that I am back in the limelight in this part of the world. Why, you want to know? Well, because I am home.
No one seems to understand what I am doing at home for months together. When I tell people that I am just here whiling away time, no one believes me. So then I resort to the gospel truth - Bill kicked me out demanding dowry, and I am here to collect some dowry money. I also put one Tirupati style hundial right here in the middle of the living room so that everyone can contribute to my dowry. But the people here don't seem to be satisfied with that explanation either. Rumors are flying all over, and so I figured might as well put down the top 3 rumors here so that all of you are also enlightened.
Rumor #1: Baby killer!
Aunty 1: Did you hear? Veena is here!
Aunty 2: Yeah, I heard too. Did you go see her?
Aunty 1: Yes, she is fine. Wonder what she's doing here though!
Aunty 2: She says something about spending time with parents. But c'mon, do we look like we were born yesterday?
Aunty 1: I know, do you think something is wrong?
Aunty 2: Well, I heard something about a trip to the gynecologist.
Aunty 1: Really? But that's good news!
Aunty 2: No, no. You know her well. Do you think she will have a baby?
Aunty 1: Ayyo! But what about Mrs. M? She would surely not allow it. Poor thing will be heartbroken.
Aunty 2: Yes, but when did she ever listen to her mother?
Aunty 1: True enough. I don't really believe this. How can she do this?
Aunty 2: Some people! Shiva Shiva!
Rumor #2: Baby generator!
Uncle 1: Did you go meet Veena?
Aunty 1: Yes, today. Do you know why she is here?
Uncle 1: Not really. Why, whats wrong?
Aunty 1: She's been to some gynec and stuff. You know that kind.
Uncle 1: Nonsense. You have got it all wrong.
Aunty 1: How do you know?
Uncle 1: Because the gynec she went to is apparently some fertility expert.
Aunty 1: But Mrs. G told me...
Uncle 1: Mrs. G doesn't know anything. I have this on good authority.
Aunty 1: Poor girl! I knew she would never do anything like that. She loves her parents after all!
Uncle 1: Of course.
Must say here that I was sort of the originator of this particular rumor. Uncle 3, who is Uncle 1's buddy asked me innocently "vishesham undo?" (Mallus, Tams too for that matter never ask you whether you are having a baby. Instead they ask you if there's any "special news". This happens right after the day you are married and continues until you have atleast three children.) and I patiently explained to him how I cannot have a baby at all, and I have seen around 7 fertility specialists all over the world. When he looked at me very unbelievingly, I promptly pulled out from my wallet the business card of a fertility expert in B'lore. (Well, if you have to know, this is the groom's eldest cousin I had become fast friends with during the wedding comedy in Bangalore) Now no one asks me "vishesham undo?" anymore.
Rumor #3: Evil, jobless girl!
Aunty 3: No, no that's not it at all. I know why she is here.
Aunty 1: Why?
Aunty 3: She fought with her husband!
Aunty 1: But he seems so nice.
Aunty 3: He is nice. Who said he fought with her? This girl, you know how she is. She is so adamant. She would have gone and fought with him needlessly. Poor guy, what is he expected to do? He is a guy, after all. Will have some ego na? He couldn't take it anymore.
Aunty 1: Hmm..I can believe that. But why is she here? She has a job right?
Aunty 3: She had a job.
Aunty 1: But she was saying something about London....
Aunty 3: Nonsense. Apparently she created so much drama at work that they had no choice but to send her away.
Aunty 1: Oh God!
Aunty 3: Do you really think anyone will just come and sit at home while they could be earning dollars?
Aunty 1: That is also there. I never thought about it that way. But she seems to be on her computer all the time! Atleast when I was there.
Aunty 3: Of course. She is trying desperately to find a job. But you know how it is. Now that she's fought with her husband and spoilt her reputation, who will give her a job?
Aunty 1: True true. Poor Mrs. M!